First, we received a postcard for a service called DoodyCalls.  If they had a service plan that also included daily diaper changes (for the kids, not the pets), we’d have a deal.

Second, for Christmas we received a bottle of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Topping, perfect for sprinkling on noodles, popcorn, whatever.  It comes in what looks like a small Parmesan Cheese container.  Brilliant and tasty.

I trust this has been more beneficial than a Christmas picture would have ever been.  Happy new year!

 ”Government.  If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.” –www.despair.com

I need one of these.

Dear Heloise: I was making some pie dough that called for ice water, and I didn’t have any. I thought of a great hint.

I took several ice cubes from the freezer, put them into my measuring cup and used my blow-dryer to melt them. It was instant ice-cold water. — Suzy, via e-mail

Tuck that one away.  And then there’s this letter to the editor, entitled Use some common sense regarding energy:

I would like to offer some commonsense solutions to our energy crisis.

I have always thought it was stupid to have to sit at a red light when there are no other cars for miles. A red light could be treated as a stop sign.

There should also be a stop put to the sporting events and other functions that cause people to drive. I am sure Redskins owner Dan Snyder and others like him couldn’t care less about what is spent on gas.

I also think that if an ambulance is required, there should not be a huge firetruck sent. They say that is in case the rescue personnel need help in picking up the person. I think it would be better to send a pickup with extra personnel to help pick up someone who is sick or injured.

There should be no half-day school sessions.

I think it is also a shame to see all the downed trees in the parks and on private land that could be cut up and used for firewood instead of lying there rotting.

The lights on the sports fields in the area should not be used, and stores should cut the lights out in some areas.

Though it’s great that Cal Ripken and others want to teach kids sports, someone had better teach them how to survive, as times are going to get worse.

Leo
Spotsylvania

And you were worried about the future of our country.

We suspected this group of people was here for a convention of some sort, and that theory was soon confirmed. But seeing a sign about “Open Filking” didn’t exactly answer all our questions. After a weekend of research and observation, I think we’ve learned the basics.

The convention in question is the Consonance 2008 Convention. As the site describes, it is “the San Francisco Bay Area filk convention.” Filk is generally considered folk music, usually with a science fiction or fantasy theme … or about computers or cats. Filkers, then, are the people participating in this musical movement. Furthermore, if our hotel parking lot is any indication, bumper stickers appear to be an important trademark of filker vehicles. Here are some additional resources, if needed.  After seeing some names and pictures in my research, I realize I rode the elevator with some famous and influential filkers this weekend.

Now that I’ve laid the foundation, I trust you’ll enjoy some example filking.

As it turns out, it was just what I needed. Check out some of my favorites:

Still in love after 29 years! Still on our honeymoon! I love you squirrel! Love, Butch

Atta you, Butch.

LIKE BEER & PEANUTS We Go Great Together I LOVE YOU!!! PD & MT

I’ve never been much of a beer drinker, but I’m sure that’s romantic.

I will never forget the first day we met … when you called me TPT! I love you! Your flipflop wearing girlfriend.

Picture included with that one. And my personal favorite:

I love you human furnace, snuggle bunny, muffin pie, and I’m a lucky wifey to have such a lovey guy! Happy Valentine’s Day Love! I *heart* you! Love Always, Your Loverton

After laughing through a few, Silent Jay wisely opined, “If this is true love, I have not yet attained.” Well said.

At first I assumed this must have something to do with the person who had the number before me. But this weekend one of the callers offered a very helpful explanation. After calling for the third time, he said (in English) that he was trying to call Columbia. I looked up the international dialing code for Columbia, and sure enough, the first 2 numbers of my area code are the international dialing code for Columbia.

If only I knew Spanish, surely there’s some fun to be had here …

Never did I imagine the same thing would be happening once I was in my thirties. No, we don’t pass out valentines at work. However, at least once per week I receive email addressed to Brain. If it didn’t happen consistently, I’d chalk it up to typos. But my email address contains the proper spelling of my name, so it really wouldn’t be too hard to verify if you’re unsure.

On a recent work trip, one of my teammates saw Brian the Brain in the SkyMall magazine. Seems only appropriate that I get one for my cube.

After a week of runarounds from phone and cable provider Comcast–apparently installers failed to show up when scheduled, came two days later but didn’t finish the job and then cut off all service shortly after that–the normally mild-mannered Mona marched into the company’s Manassas office and clobbered a phone, keyboard and monitor with a hammer, all the while shouting, “Now do I have your attention?”

Simply Comcastic.

Sometimes I fear I’m dangerously close to being that co-worker. The comics speak such truth about life, it’s hard not to share.